This was another memorable Memorial Day weekend. Monday morning we were informed via phone that a local student pilot was missing after a car crash which had occurred early Saturday morning. 2 Lt John Alley, a devout member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormon), had crashed his car leaving behind his cell phone, wallet, and other personal items. There was no trace of John. Family members (Dad, Dave and Older (and wiser) sister, Julie) had rushed to the area from Utah and Colorado respectively. Meanwhile his wife Emily, pregnant with their first child, was bravely soldiering on. Around and among all of these concerned and frightened family members were literally hundreds of volunteers from John’s Squadron at Whiting Field, the community, and his Church family. I was part of the last group. A number of men from our Ward (congregation of ~ 500 Saints) and my 17 year old daughter came to the organizational meeting at the Pensacola Stake Center (central Chapel of the Church in the Pensacola, FL area) on Fox Run Road in Pensacola. When we arrived we could see the news trucks with satellite equipment and cameramen getting footage of the unfolding scene.
Inside the walls of the gymnasium had papers affixed every few feet bearing the names of locations both in the local area and extending several hundred miles in every direction. Several maps and stations with all sorts of supplies had been set up. Countless flyers and posters (6K I heard someone say) were available to be handed out. A web site had been set up, local and national media had been notified, and a tip line had been established (among other things). Jimmy Donahoe, a faithful member of the Church, and a member of the Pensacola Police Department was busily moving about taking calls and answering questions.
After media interviews for the purpose of updating the status of the search were conducted we joined several hundred other volunteers in a well developed and orchestrated briefing (begun with prayer by John’s dad) given largely by Julie, (Johns “older and wiser” sister) on what had been done to find John and what still needed to be done. Her briefing went on for about 15 minutes or so before she was done with the things she needed to put out. While awaiting the return of Officer Donahoe (who was on the latest of the calls to his cell phone) she was fielding some questions from the audience when abruptly he returned from a side door and it was clear from the look on his face that John had been found and that the need for searchers was over. He quickly ushered John’s wife, father, and sister out of the gym and with them all of the air and expectations for a tidy resolution departed too. The sounds of anguish rising from the adjacent hallway were agonizing to hear.
Shortly another prayer of comfort was offered (by President Bud Jennings of the Pensacola Florida Stake Presidency) and the news (given by Officer Donahoe) that John’s body had been located by several LDS missionaries who were searching in the area of the crash. Everyone quietly returned the chairs to their places and filed out of the building. I found out after getting home (from another searcher who was in the area) that John’s body had been located on the shoreline of Pensacola Bay near the railroad tracks several hundred yards north of the crash site on Scenic Highway.
Our family (and I’m sure many, many others) offered prayers on behalf of John’s wife and family. We prayed that they might find peace and comfort in this their hour of need. We prayed that they might cope with the loss of John’s life with the bright hope of a joyful reunion in the future. A knowledge borne of testimony and knowledge of God’s Plan for the happiness and salvation of His children. The Plan executed by an omniscient and omnipotent Savior capable of breaking the bands of death and smashing (and satisfying in every detail) the excruciating demands of justice while offering mercy and relief to his brothers and sisters.
Clearly to any reasonable observer of this tragedy, John left this earth prematurely. Taken by death in the early prime of his life, while the latest jewel in his eternal crown (fatherhood), was yet to be affixed seems to add only an added measure of grief and bitterness to the overwhelmingly sad scene. How could a just and loving God permit such a tragedy? It seems to be a bitter and unanswerable question doesn’t it? But there is an answer! In fact there are a number of reasons that have been revealed to Prophets for “why” these things happen. Before I address these reasons permit me to share 3 other examples (as briefly as I can, and that will be a challenge) that may give some reference to this situation.
1. Bishop Marcus Wilde: Bishop Wilde was our Bishop (ecclesiastical leader of a Ward) when we were stationed at Hill Air Force Base, near Ogden Utah a few years ago. About 6 weeks after he had been released (almost all ecclesiastical leaders in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are “lay leaders” ie they aren’t paid) and another called to serve we were playing Church basketball in the neighborhood Chapel. Marcus loved to play basketball and had been enthusiastically running up and down the floor with the rest of us “old guys”. He came out of the game (with a substitution) and was sitting on the edge of the stage of the cultural hall facing the playing floor when he slumped forward and fell onto the playing floor right in front of us. When we found him completely unresponsive and not breathing another player and I immediately set about the work of resuscitating him (CPR). In the midst of this clamor I gave him a blessing utilizing the Priesthood I hold (on loan from God). Nothing we tried would return Bishop Wilde to us. In seconds his wife and one of her sons (about 10) witnessed the departure of beloved husband and father while the rest of us lost a respected Priesthood leader and friend.
2. Brian Barnhouse: Brian was one of the Young Men in the Ward the first time I served as Bishop. He was a quiet young man who was well liked by everyone who knew him. He had a desire to serve as a full-time missionary for the Church and we had worked together to make his being called a reality. We spent many hours together discussing subjects ranging from pride to perfection to righteousness and repentance. I felt I knew Brian very well. I spoke at Brian’s funeral. I presented my thoughts then like this:
“Brian confided much of himself to me in our interviews and we had a close personal relationship with one another. Somehow even though this was true even I, amongst all of us who knew Brian well, had no inkling of the private pain he was apparently dealing with.”
Brian left a note and took his own life with a high power rifle in his living room. We had the opportunity to restore and/or replace everything in that part of his house. A chilling and unforgettable experience let me assure you. Brian passed away Memorial Day weekend of 1999.
3. David Laws: David is my father. He passed away from complications incident to cancer at age 38. I was 13 years old at the time, the oldest child of 6 (the youngest being 6 weeks old at the time of his death). My father obeyed the Word of Wisdom (health code which prohibits drinking and smoking and other unhealthy practices) throughout his life and to my young mind an organ robbing cancer was just impossible. But there it was and is. He got a firm diagnosis about 14 days before he drew his last breath. He died on a Sunday morning while we were in Church (with our Aunt). A giant hole was blown into life which remains in place to this very day. This year I’ll turn 44. It still hurts.
Death is an open door through which each of us MUST walk. No one, not matter who they are, can forego this natural consequence of being born to this earth. Death is indeed part of The Plan of our Father for the happiness and progression of His children. While it is true that each of us will die the conditions under which one exits the earth vary greatly. Those who remain are left to “rationalize” and “make sense” of their departed loved one. I believe we must take into account the depth and breadth of The Plan when we make these judgments (if we judge at all, as that ultimately falls to one person, Jesus Christ). I like this quote from the Prophet Joseph Smith, which bears on this subject:
“While one portion of the human race is judging and condemning the other without mercy, the Great Parent of the universe looks upon the whole of the human family with a fatherly care and paternal regard. . . . He is a wise Lawgiver, and will judge all men, not according to the narrow, contracted notions of men, but, “according to the deeds done in the body whether they be good or evil. . . .” We need not doubt the wisdom and intelligence of the Great Jehovah; He will award judgment or mercy to all nations according to their several deserts . . . and when the designs of God shall be made manifest, and the curtain of futurity be withdrawn, we shall all of us eventually have to confess that the Judge of all the earth has done right.’ ” (Teaching of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 218.)”
I have highlighted two important phrases I think bear specific relation to our understanding of death.
- “not according to the narrow, contracted notions of men”
- “all of us eventually have to confess that the Judge of all the earth has done right”
We see from these two statements some of the fundamental truths of eternity under which God our Heavenly Father operates: first, man’s ways are not His and vice versa (Isaiah 55:8) and second, we will all see the wisdom of His Plan (and His purposes) at some time in the future. Those things we don’t understand will be made known unto us. What a glorious blessings to look forward to!
In the case of John Alley there seem to be a number of unanswered questions; some of which may find seemingly reasonable explanation, and perhaps some that never will. To me the most salient and critical question summed succinctly as “WHY?” may be most succinctly answered: “because it’s part of The Plan”. It’s clear by the sting that remains that none of us may be fully satisfied with this answer even though prayer and inspiration from the Holy Ghost will readily confirm its verity.
How could a just and loving God permit such a tragedy? Because His Plan rolls on and His Purposes roll on and His desire to exalt His children rolls ever on. The psalmist solemnly reminds:
“…weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” (Psalms 30:5)
The present pain endured by the Alley family will transition to other forms of endurance as they move forward and move on the path of time away from this past weekend. I remember the 13th Article of Faith which states in part that “we hope to be able to endure all things”. That admonition given by Paul is ever in effect for we who toil on in mortality. I am buoyed up by the knowledge of a perfectly compassionate Savior who in Gethsemane and on the cross bowed under the weight of this particular pain too. He has felt the intense, white-hot, unending and torturous pain we experience at the loss (even temporarily) of someone we love. He knows; He’s been there too! (2 Nephi 9:21[Book of Mormon])
When we seem to be in the darkest abyss may each of us recognize the utility and beauty of the gifts of our Savior as these things truly elevate our souls and our spirits. Knowing of and utilizing His divine light will ever more clearly illuminate our vision and understanding of and appreciation for what He and the Father have ordained for our happiness. While this will not eliminate our suffering it can help us make sense of it and give us the precious perspective needed to see beyond our present misery and onto a more “perfect day”(D&C 50:24 [Doctrine & Covenants])
–Paul
-Pensacola, FL